Rebirth Day
I don’t remember anything about my brain hemorrhage or the emergency surgery I had that saved my life. I couldn’t remember anything for months after it happened, either. Learning about the events that led to my hospitalization that night was one of the first mental challenges of my recovery. When I reflect on what happened and where I am now, it boggles my mind. It’s nothing short of a miracle.
It was finals week during my junior year — our first quarter back in-person after the pandemic — December 2021. I was stressing about my coding final and had just clicked “submit” and plopped down on the couch. My roommate turned to ask me a question and saw I was having a seizure. I’d never had any medical issues before. I was perfectly healthy — on track to graduate the following year with a bachelor’s degree in bioengineering.
Recognizing the severity of the situation, she called 911, and I was taken by ambulance to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. As the doctors and staff there were trying to figure out what might have caused the seizure, I had a second one. They did a scan of my brain and found a bleed. I needed surgery right away.
Dr. Anthony Wang was my surgeon, and he called my parents that night in Wisconsin, waking them up. He told my dad, “I need permission to do this surgery on your daughter because, if I don’t, she’s going to die.” I had a ruptured aneurysm that was causing a severe hemorrhage.
As I was undergoing surgery, my dad got on the first flight to L.A. When he got to the hospital, Dr. Wang met him, and right away he said, “Your daughter’s going to make a full recovery.” At that moment, I was in a coma. But those words ended up carrying me through my recovery.
I had three surgeries during the month I was in the hospital. Then I went to an inpatient rehab center in downtown L.A. That’s where I “woke up.” I was, like, “Mom, where the hell am I?” Thirty seconds later, I would ask her again because I had no recollection of what she said. My memory was gone. I kept waking up at this rehab center and asking what was going on. That’s when my mom made a timeline for me of what had happened. It felt like a random series of events. I didn’t have any concept that this happened to me.
After a month at the rehab center, I went home to Wisconsin, and for the next six or seven months, we drove to Chicago every day for long-term rehab.
There are three types of therapy for brain injuries: physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy. Speech therapy was the big one for me, because it also includes memory. I had to rebuild my ability to form memories. I couldn’t hold onto a piece of information for more than 10 seconds. And, obviously, learning and memory is important when you’re in college and trying to get a degree.
I was determined to come back to UCLA and finish my degree. But so many of my outpatient therapists were trying to convince me that it wasn’t a good idea — to be so far from home, pursuing such a challenging degree. Still, I felt I could do it. My mom did, too. When I was fresh out of a coma, she pulled out some of my AP calculus books and started quizzing me, and I could still do the math!
The coolest thing ever was that my neurosurgeon said all my old memories, my intellect, my intelligence, were all still intact. It was just a matter of access. I figured if the man who opened my skull and did surgery on my brain said I’m going to be fine then why wouldn’t I go for it?
After a year of recovery, I came back to UCLA. And in June of 2024, I graduated with my bioengineering degree. When I went to pick up my diploma, I thought, “There are so many more names that belong on this thing. Can I get 30 honorable mention lines?”
I went to thank Dr. Wang and the residents who took care of me, wearing my graduation sash. I’ve been writing them thank-you letters every year. One of the residents told me he has the letters posted on his fridge. I call December 5 my rebirth day.
Before all of this happened, I was so focused on getting an engineering degree and having a successful career that little else mattered. Now, I still want all of that, but what’s more important to me is that I’m happy and healthy, that I have a loving family and warmth in my heart. The important part about life is the things you experience, your family and friends, the relationships you have. That was never a feeling that was in my head before.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. Dr. Wang said a million things had to line up just right for me to make a full recovery. Even my decision to come to UCLA. Once I was admitted, I came to Bruin Day to check it out, and as soon as I walked on campus, I knew this was the school I had to go to. I think something in the universe was telling me this was where I needed to be.
Neha Pai earned her BS degree in bioengineering from UCLA.
